Memorial Day Memories

A cool drink given on a hot Memorial Day

Memorial day, when we gather together to remember and honor those who have served our country. It's amazing that so many memories can be made today while celebrating those of yesterday. Memorial Day is a perfect time to create those moments you will always remember with your family.

This photo will be a time I will always remember. George actually sharing something with his little sister! On this hot day, a cool drink is given from brother to sister. With all of the swatting, snatching, and screaming that goes on between these two, it's adorable interactions such as this one that make parenting worth it all.




Family moments and memories most remembered seem to be captured around holidays. The celebration of life and freedom bring people together in some unforgettable ways. Yet, not many of those times for me growing up. Lisa and I have talked about wanting a large family and the desire to stay connected to those around us. We want our children to have lasting memories of love and fellowship.

Sad to say, this Memorial Day was just another reminder of what I didn't have growing up. We bought a little grill in order to cook a flank steak and some ribs. I placed the charcoal flat in the grill spraying them with lighter fluid. Lighting the coals, a wild flame burst into the air. The fire died down very rapidly and went out. I poured more lighter fluid on those little nuggets. Striking the lighter I ignited the rock fuel back up! Huge flame, quick exhaust. Lisa asks me, "Honey, did you read the directions on the charcoal bag?" Do I even need to mention the amount of frustration that comment caused? (I hadn't by the way!) So I read; "stack coals in a pyramid shape and light, then spread out". The front door opens, "My dad said you have to stack them in a pyramid shape then light them". Frustration mounting! Stacked in a pyramid that would make the Egyptians jealous, I douse the pile in lighter fluid and torch.... almost catching my house on fire! (yes, I had the grill on my front porch) About a minute later, the blaze is gone and I had enough. Grumbling all the way to the bedroom, I told Lisa I was giving up because I just could not get the coals to stay lit.

Just a little while later, my father-in-law shows up. I expressed my frustration over not knowing how to light a simple grill. He opened the lid and said, "looks lit to me". "But there is no flame", I responded. My father-in-law preceded to tell me you don't need a flame when cooking with charcoal. I had the fire lit the whole time and did not know it. Just another thing I wasn't taught growing up.

Now reflecting on the events of the day I can only wonder what memory I burned in my children's minds. Feeling frustrated and defeated I stormed around the house with the "woe is me" attitude. I mumbled about how I wasn't even smart enough to keep a fire going. My frustration rubbed off on my wife and for a couple of hours it was quite tense in our home. What a grand memory!

Luke 10:41-42 (Msg)

"The Master said, "Martha, dear Martha, you're fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it's the main course, and won't be taken from her."

In the presence of Christ, Martha got all caught up in serving. Who could blame her? After all, Christ was in her home! I can understand her need to have everything perfect on this very special occasion. Not to mention Christ came with a crowd, there was plenty of work to be done. "Fussing far too much", I wonder if Martha slammed a couple of pots or "tissed" a time or two. Jesus tells Martha there is only one thing essential and that Mary has chosen it. Fellowship with Christ... essential, coals on the grill.... not so much. When we gather together with family, friends, or both, there is only one essential so no use getting worked up over nothing.

On the day we celebrate life by remembering those who served our country I became frustrated in the serving of my family. Did I feel like it was all up to me making sure everything was perfect and right? You bet I did! When it's all said and the dishes are done, 20 years from now we may not remember what we had to eat. We may laugh and tell the story of how daddy didn't know what he was doing with charcoal. Although, what I hope is not remembered is the ranting and raving I did. My focus on the things I missed in childhood blinded me to the memories I want to give my children. I almost let my service become a disservice. Guess I had a "Martha attitude" when I should of had a "Mary heart". Our family gathered together to enjoy fellowship. That is what memories are made of.

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