We are trying to get our four month old son to take naps in his crib. He does not like his crib at all. We lay him down and he cries.... and cries... and cries! It is heart wrenching.
Tonight we lay him down in the dark and I hide in my closet just to listen and pray. He is crying full force and my heart is sinking by the second. I know he isn't in pain, so this must be some sort of fear. Dad is right here with him and yet he doesn't realize just how close I am. I know that this is something we as parents have to do and something he has to go through for his good. That doesn't make it feel any better. Tonight the Lord taught me something about Him that I hope I never take for granted again.
Psalm 23 says that when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death we can fear no evil because He is with us. It doesn't always feel like He is with us, but we know that He is and that is why we can have no fear. If my son only knew that Dad was right there with him in this "dark hour".
When I knew my son could bare no more and could not find rest, I picked him up in my arms and he knew I was there. I brought him close to me and began to hum Amazing Grace and my son found rest. Though it was necessary for him to lay and cry, when the Father says "that's enough" than that's enough. In our darkest hours when we are crying out to God as if He isn't there we can "feel" some of the worst turmoil. Yet, the truth is that He is there...with us...waiting for us to exhaust ourselves. When we have reach the point where Father says "enough" we can feel His embrace and listen to the subtle tune of His Amazing Grace and finally find rest for our "Crocodile Tears"! My son rests soundly tonight (for now) and the Father has taught this father just how much He wants me to rest knowing He is with me.
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