It has been 1 year already. I started out this blog with the best intention of logging all the wonderful truths God would show me through being a new father. I guess one thing I can take from not blogging this long is; Fathers are busy loving their children. I have enjoyed all of the little moments over the last year... even then mumbling under my breath as I had to get up to change a diaper only to find the dam didn't hold if you know what I mean!
Tonight I was feeding George before he goes to bed. It's later in the evening than usual and George is really tired. It isn't long after he starts his bottle that he is out like a light. Snoozing in my arms is my son, the one who bares my image and holds my name. In my arms he doesn't have a worry in the world... just a full belly and sweet dreams. I stare down at him and think to my self how much I love him... how I wouldn't want to be anywhere else that very moment. I realize how content he is because I am his security...his safety. Then I hear it in my heart of hearts...
"George, when was the last time you felt that safe in my arms?"
My heart breaks as I come to the wonderful conclusion that God loves me more than I could ever love my son, and yet my sense of safety and security seems to waiver on my most tired nights. Yes, on those nights I tend to get irritable and irrational, making split decisions and spewing words you would never think a pastor would say. As a father, it's when I am tired (which is all the time) that I find I feel the most vulnerable. Maybe the lesson for tonight is; When I am tired it's time to climb into the Father's lap and let Him give me what I need to find security, safety, and rest.
2 comments:
I know hat this blog seems to be intended for Father's, but being a mother, I feel absolutely they sme way.Day n and day out are the daily strugles ofparenthood,and I hardly give thought to the fact that the Lord indeed wants me to be safe in im as my children are in me. I find myself stressed a lot and am assured it is becauseI am not giving my 100% into believing that theLord will help to see me through the hard times and lead me in the path in which to lead my children.
Kristina,
Thank you for commenting. Us fathers need to hear more of your perspective. I tend to think of my wife as "supermom" and that nothing wears her out, but she gets overwhelmed also. We have found that our own personal relationship with the Lord improves our mutual relationship with him and with each other which in turn makes us better parents. Thank you for your insight and please feel free to continue to give your motherly input as the Lord leads you. Thank you again :)
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